Monday, June 25, 2012

All before noon

The alarm was blaring at four thirty this morning.  I had to have mom at the doc by seven.  I'm not sure but I don't think I have heard my alarm clock since the end of May.  I didn't like the sound of it.  Anyway, on my way to get her, I rounded a curve and my breath was taken away by this......
God's peaceful way of saying "Good Morning, I'm here."

As we are on our way, I stopped to get gas.  For whatever reason, I looked at the back of the vehicle I was driving and the tag that was on there yesterday, you know the thing you MUST have, was GONE!  Well being it was so early, the preacher wasn't up yet.  And in my house, no one, I MEAN NO ONE, can hear the phone ring.  So all I could do was pray all the way to the doc that I wouldn't see, or be pulled over by any type of law officer.  I mean I prayed all the way.  We reach our destination with answered prayers.  By the way, she knew none of this up until she reads this.  By the time she is called back for her procedure, I still haven't got in touch w/ D.  So I go to the vehicle and there in the back is the tag.  Another answered prayer.  So I pull it out and smack it on the back.  Mission one of the day accomplished.
Then as I wait for her this is what I see and hear.....

There were these two men.  By this time they are reading the "paper".  But let me tell you they have already covered a lot of territory.  They have discussed some motorized something, the weather, church, their preacher, racing.  So my mind really got to traveling.  How long had these men known each other?  Were they brothers?  Lifetime friends?  Or just someone doing something nice for the other?  They got on the subject of coffee.  There was coffee in the waiting room.  The one there for his procedure told the other, get you a cup.  He said no, I wouldn't do that to you.  I will be fine.  Again, how long????
Once they call me back to get mother, I was entertained again.  This time it was an elderly man who needed his assistant with him.  His mind was in years ago....He kept asking if his wife was there.  The lady that was there, apparently wasn't her.  I have no idea if "the wife" is still living or not.  It wasn't mentioned and believe me, I was listening.  He had a sweet quiet spirit about him and I thought to myself as I watched the nurse fix his hair, that is how love is suppose to be.  After all those years he still wanted her. 
Ok so we get to leave.  I got her home. 
Picked up my jeep.
Go to store.
Lose an earring.
See old neighbor.
Now, the last part, well, again, God was in it.  I have felt him nudging me for whatever reason to go.  But it hasn't been the right time.  Maybe he was preparing me for today.  I saw them both.  Him and her.  She was as always.  He was too.  He was more welcoming to the conversation than she.  I saw unhappiness.  Loneliness. Sadness.  He asked about the boys.  Told me to come see them.  He also told me "We aren't here for long.  Just passin through."  Reality check.
You see, in the past six years or so we have been on vacation this week.  But as God would have it, we are not this time.  Could be because of the appointments for today.  Could be because of  "Debbey" the tropical storm/hurricane whatever she is. Could be because of the meeting at the store.  I left the store with tears.  Tears of sadness, really.  Because of the reality of the morning.  We are all just passin through aren't we.  What we do with it is up to us.  I hope to praise well, love alot, laugh even more, worry less. Not sure how I am racking up on all of it.  But all of this before noon. So now as noon has passed, I think I will go out and enjoy some heat and sun and wait to see what the afternoon and evening will hold. 
Just as the sunrise from this morning until it sets tonight, My God is in control of it all.  Morning. Noon. Night.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Problems and Lessons

This my friends is my new ride.  D, the boys and everyone else probably thinks I have lost my ever lovin mind.  Maybe I have.  Being married to a preacher/car dealer, there isn't much I haven't driven.  But deep down in my teenage heart, I have always secretly thought it would be fun to have one of these.
 Being that one child is eighteen and the other is less than a year from sixteen, mom goes by herself almost everywhere she goes now.  So I asked D, who was in the process of looking for me something else besides my usual Tahoe, about one of these.  I should have known when I asked him about one of these he would get one.  He's good like that.  I have to be careful when thinking out loud around him. When thoughts are spoken around him they usually become reality.  You would think I would have learned by now.  Anyway,  this came as a surprise to my boys just like me playing the organ at church.  SHOCK!  No one knew I knew how.  No one knew these inner wanderings until I spoke them.  But my boys have drove me nuts over this.  Take the top off.  Take the top off.  All of it!  Can I drive it? Let me drive it.  You need to do this, you need that.....
So Friday came, it was a stressful day, but the oldest had a date, and yes, he had wanted to drive it on his date.  I had my reservations about it.  I mean D had practically scared me silly in even thinking I wanted it.  It doesn't have cruise (which may be a problem for me) don't over correct, etc.  So I really didn't want him driving it to his destination.  His words were "mom, you worry too much."  Anyway dad let him drive it not knowing the child and I had already discussed the issue.  I was fit to be tied.  But, God was at work. After they left He began to soften my heart (as I cleaned and cleaned on the house) and I began to listen.  How much my child and I are alike.  And I bet if you think about it, you are the same as us.  How often do we go to our Heavenly Father with request, questions, pondering's, worries.  And when He doesn't give us the answer we want, we go to someone who will give us the answer we want. Knowing all along that the answer He has given is the right one.  But instead we get on the phone and call the BFF and get their advice.  We just do what we want because it is what we want.  We ask Him first, but we don't let Him finish. 
The boy and his date made it fine to their destination.  They made it safely home.  No problems  He sent me a text to say "Jeep did good."  My reply was "of course it did."  Of course I was praying the whole time for God's protection.  He finished. 
And believe me, from now on when I ask Him for something, I will do my best to accept His answer and let Him finish.  To be ok with His answer and only call the BFF's to see how they are and just talk girl stuff.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

A double celebration & what I didn't know

Exactly eighteen years ago today, D got to lay eyes on his first born son.  He was elated.  Everyone out in the hall could hear him yelling it's a boy!  We only had one ultra sound and it was too soon to tell what our butter bean was.  D knew "it" was going to be a boy.  No girl name was ever discussed.  We had no back up plan. 
What I didn't know then was how fast eighteen years would go by.  Fast doesn't even describe it. 
I didn't know eighteen years ago that that nine pound one ounce bundle of pure joy would melt my heart the way he did. 
I didn't know eighteen years ago that that baby boy would turn out to be the fine young man he is.  All we have been able to do in the last eighteen years is pray really hard for God's hand to be on him and lead him..  He has.
I didn't know eighteen years ago that being a mama was so hard. 
We came home from the hospital on a Saturday.  Father's Day was Sunday.  I think I did really good giving D his first Father's Day gift! 
I didn't know that eighteen years ago that that baby boy would think his daddy hung the moon.  And he does.  If his dad says it then it has to be right.  By the way, I never hear him tell D "Dad, you worry too much." I on the other hand, well it is his famous line for me.
My heart is full as I type this.  Come August, we will start the beginning of another chapter.  He will be a senior.  I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.  Eighteen years ago, it felt like an eternity away.  Now it is here.  Eighteen!
Happy Eighteenth Son!

Eighteen years ago his world changed.  Eighteen years ago he became a dad.  Eighteen years ago, they placed that baby in his arms and he hasn't returned yet.  I don't think he ever will.  His boys are his world.  He will tell you that.  Everything he does, he does for them.  (and me)  He is the rock of this family.  Without him, we would all be nuts because I am sure the boys and I would drive each other to that place.  He is the steadfast peace maker. The anchor.  All because he knows he too, has an anchor. 
Happy Father's Day D!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

True love stories never have endings....

To see what this post is about and to read a small portion of their story, click the Ella B's Photgraphy button in the blog list.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Stress relief

This is where it happens.  This is where the stress is taken out.  This is where I have often met with my Father.  Only, here lately, it hasn't been happening too much.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe because of something called life, kids, house, work computer....
But a few weeks ago the oldest asked why I never play it any more.  I barely heard him.  But I did.  The question has been learking.
Let me take you back several years ago.  I remember being in 1st grade and begging my mother to let me take piano lessons.  She finally gave in thinking I would quit.  But I didn't.  I took lessons until I was a junior in high school.  Was I a slow learner?  No not really.  I just took during the school year.  Never during the summer.  Am I a professional, classical player?  NOPE!  Not on your life.  My mother would tell me get the hymn book and play a verse of every song.  Did I like doing that?  No!  Absolutly not.  Did I like to practice?  Nope.  Not at all.  Can I tell you the key I am playing in?  Nope.   It's an odd thing really.  My way of playing.  It's an odd thing, they way fingers move on the keys.  My teachers had a fit with it and me.  I only wanted to play the songs I knew.  I could hear them in my head.  I never cared to learn anything new.  Still don't. 
There have been many songs played and practiced on these keys.  When troubles and stress came this is where I went.  This is where I met with "Daddy."
There have been many Sunday mornings as D was getting ready for church that I would sit down and play. Kind of getting my fingers ready for the worship service.  But I haven't done that in a while.  Until this past Sunday.  And as I did, the youngest asked " Why don't you play anymore?"  See the question is still learking.  I wondered myself. 
So today when the house was quiet these keys called my name.  So I found myself sitting and playing.  And guess who was there?  Yep.  My heavenly Father.  You see playing every hymn paid off.  Because now, playing them and hearing them in my head moves me.  Playing them in the stillness of my home, I feel His prescence.  But it also tells me my boys must have been listening and enjoying it too. (I hope)
Do you have a special place that you meet with Him?  If so when was the last time you were there?  I bet He's there waiting now.



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things

It is funny how we let the smallest, simplest things go by.  It is funny how we don't really pay attention. to them.  Whether it people, memories, things.  We take them for granted. 
I just finished writing T.  And as I typed I couldn't help but let my mind wonder.  I wondered what the weather was.  What he had to eat today.  How his health is.  How the health of his family is.  Is he sleeping on a dirt floor tonight?  I won't be.  I have been fed too much today.  I have everything I need in my home and a lot of it I don't need.  We stress over the smallest things.  Things that are "big" to us in the moment, but when it is all said and done, they weren't all that big at all.