Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Bittersweet

D dug a whole a year ago today.  We put part of our hearts in it.    A year without.  A year with.  It has taken him a year. (No, we didn't rush out that day & get this one. But he was here by week's end. But not because I wanted him.  Just to clarify.)  I still don't connect with him like I did Samps.  We are still a work in progress.  We are getting there.  Slowly.

He has talent. 

 
He is a mess!  He is hyper.  Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT,  let the pictures fool you.

Do you see the look I am getting?

See what I mean?

On any given day, the house is scattered with toys.  Well, it was.  He has destroyed most of these.  We have gone to chewing on some type of plumbing pipe.  A fitting or something.  He hasn't done any damage to it yet.  Other than the teeth marks around the edges.

He can't have this much hair ever again.  He mats to badly and is just down right ugly when shaved. Like to the point I can't talk to him for a few days.  He looks like some alien when this happens. 
If you have never had a pet in the house, you won't understand this post at all.  I grew up with a Pekingese in the house.  So I was accustomed to a dog.  However, mom & dad built a new house & the dog died.  All the other dogs I had after that were outside.  We married and the thought never occurred to either of us to have a pet inside.  Then the boys came along and as every child wishes, they wanted a dog.  One more than the other.  Samps was suppose to stay outside.  But when you have an eight week old puppy as cute as he was, you can't leave him outside!  He became one of us.  He played hide & seek with the boys.  And he too, was a mama's boy.  He never had to bark.  I knew by the look on his face what he wanted.  And if I didn't, he would lead me to it. 
I remember the day so well.  January 29, 2013.  It had been a cold month.  Not as cold as this one, but cold.  I was then, as I am now, longing for warmth.  It was in the sixty's that day.  Maybe even close to 70.  I've learned to always be careful what you wish and long for. 
But now here we are.  A year later.  I still think of him. Isaiah 43:19 says "See, I am doing a new thing!"  I know God is always good & working things together for my good.  This has been a new year.   And  this new one, Lord he keeps me busy.  He is like a toddler running wild.  Always into something.  The Thelma to my Louise & Ethel to my Lucy, told me not long ago that these breeds have a long life span.  Like 18 years.  I said "Well great!" 
 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

21 years...

 
21 years.. that's a long time..
  Living with someone or with out them.
There are a lot of things that can happen in 21 years. 
 I can have babies.  Move.  A husband can become a preacher, making me a preacher's wife.  A brother can build a house.  A sister can move.  Two nephews can graduate, get married.  Start families.  A niece can graduate high school & college.  A mother can travel around the world.  Grandparents pass.  And life goes right along.
  Only thing missing, is you.  But then again, you're not.  It was 21 years ago today that God said He needed you more than we did.  So we let you go.  It wasn't an easy good bye.  But because we did, we have all grown.  I believe deep down, we all have a very special guardian angel watching us.  Said niece posted a something about cardinals:
"A cardinal is a representative of a loved one who has passed. When you see one, it means they are visiting you. They usually show up when you most need them or ...miss them. They also make an appearance during times of celebration as well as despair to let you know they will always be with you. Look for them, they'll appear."  Mom's yard has several at any given time.  Wonder why?  One even appeared Christmas morning.  Stayed long enough for me to leave the room, get the camera, come back & get a picture. 
Thing of it is, I have lived as long without you as I did with you.  I had just turned 22.  They were 22 good years.  I wish I had absorbed more of you.   There are days when I can still smell you.  There are days when I wish I could see you with these boys.  Wish I could hear what you would tell them.  But then again, you are here.  You live on in us all. 
I also know, you wouldn't trade where you are for this ol world.  And one sweet day, we will be right next to you. Until then, we will still be watching & looking for those cardinals.