Thursday, January 23, 2014

21 years...

21 years.. that's a long time..
  Living with someone or with out them.
There are a lot of things that can happen in 21 years. 
 I can have babies.  Move.  A husband can become a preacher, making me a preacher's wife.  A brother can build a house.  A sister can move.  Two nephews can graduate, get married.  Start families.  A niece can graduate high school & college.  A mother can travel around the world.  Grandparents pass.  And life goes right along.
  Only thing missing, is you.  But then again, you're not.  It was 21 years ago today that God said He needed you more than we did.  So we let you go.  It wasn't an easy good bye.  But because we did, we have all grown.  I believe deep down, we all have a very special guardian angel watching us.  Said niece posted a something about cardinals:
"A cardinal is a representative of a loved one who has passed. When you see one, it means they are visiting you. They usually show up when you most need them or ...miss them. They also make an appearance during times of celebration as well as despair to let you know they will always be with you. Look for them, they'll appear."  Mom's yard has several at any given time.  Wonder why?  One even appeared Christmas morning.  Stayed long enough for me to leave the room, get the camera, come back & get a picture. 
Thing of it is, I have lived as long without you as I did with you.  I had just turned 22.  They were 22 good years.  I wish I had absorbed more of you.   There are days when I can still smell you.  There are days when I wish I could see you with these boys.  Wish I could hear what you would tell them.  But then again, you are here.  You live on in us all. 
I also know, you wouldn't trade where you are for this ol world.  And one sweet day, we will be right next to you. Until then, we will still be watching & looking for those cardinals. 

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