Thursday, June 26, 2014

Blessings, spilled milk & sugar, and walking by faith

A big decision has been  looming for some time now.  One in which I have been on & off of the fence with.  But every single time I have questioned, there was confirmation.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!!   This particular day was no different.  I was back on the fence as high as I could get.  I even had a big bag of what ifs with me.  The day & night before, Jeremiah 29:11 had rolled through my head all day & I even fell asleep with it still playing. (Which gave great peace).  I got up the next morning, more torn than ever before.  My bag of what ifs even bigger than before.  I gave up sitting pool side & reading.  I knew better.  I couldn't get myself or my brain still.  So what do you do when you can't settle yourself down?  You go to Wal mart.  (I roll my eyes now) I darted up and down isles quicker than the road runner running from the coyote.  

I got back home & when I opened the back of the jeep this is what I found.....
My sugar had some how spilled out.  I wasn't happy.  I unloaded everything that needed to go in the house.  Then I proceed to put the things in the outside fridge.  That is when I found this...


 
Spilled milk.  I really wasn't happy now.  NOT AT ALL! 
Back to my fence.  I had been looking for confirmation all day.  Because that is how this has been working.  I doubt. He confirms.  So I'm really beside myself now.  The old saying came to mind "There's no use crying over spilled milk".  I tried to find the confirmation & message in it & couldn't.  I clean up the milk & go back inside to take care of the said bag of sugar.  But I couldn't help but wonder where the sugar came from.  As I inspected the bag I found this....


 
I know you probably can't see it well, but there is a small hole in the bag.  When I spotted it, that still small voice spoke..."See if that much sugar can come out of a hole that small, then can you imagine the blessings I am about to pour out on you?"  About the time all of this is going on I look up to see what song is playing on the TV & it is "Walk by Faith" by Jeremy Camp.  You know, the one that says, "I will walk by faith even when I can not see".  Yep that one.  And I promise you I am not making any of this up.  I am not THAT creative.  So, I jumped off the fence.  Had a small cry.  Not over the milk or sugar, but because my God supplies my needs & the needs of my family.  With that being said, I am now walking by faith more than ever before.
 
 

Monday, June 16, 2014

Twenty years ago & today

Twenty years ago today, I was great with child.  And when I say great, I mean, like due date was two days ago.  He could come at any time now.  And, as you mothers well know, it is an event.  You do not just say oh, that was a contraction.  I think it's time.  Twenty years ago, the weather was much like today's forecasted to be.  Nice. Warm.  Sunny.  Twenty years ago I was alone in the house.  D was at work.  I was nesting.  I had washed clothes.  Even hung them out on the line.  All the while having contractions.  At this point they were about fifteen minutes apart.  I make my way to the grocery store. (Because you don't want to be bringing a newborn home without food in the kitchen.)  I stop by mom's on the way to the store.  I put her in a dilemma.  Should she mow her yard or get ready?  (I can't help but laugh at that now)  I proceed to the store and even to the post office to get mom stamps.  (Well, since you are going to town, never mind that you are having contractions and all, would you go to the post office?  While I stay here & decide on mowing or getting ready.) I stop back by her house to leave the stamps.  Now, let me say this is all around the ten o'clock hour.  Contractions are still around fifteen minutes apart.  I got back home.  Put the groceries up.  Got the clothes off the line. I folded them and put them back in place. The house is clean.  I decide I will try to help things along.  I ate the popsicles that you freeze.  You know, the kind in the long slender bag?  I ate those and walked.  And walked.  And walked!  But then.  BUT THEN!!!!!!  I had a contraction that took my breath & just about put me on my knees.  It made me think, "You know, maybe it's time to call D."  I called.  And wouldn't you know it.  HE'S AT LUNCH!!!!!! Yes he's eating.  If you know him, you will find this funny.  The co-worker that answered said "Do you want me to go get him?"  (Let me say this was in the era before cell phones.  Makes you wonder how did we survive and communicate.) My reply was "No, let him eat.  This may be the only meal he gets today." He finally calls me back.  Then the debate is on whether I should drive to pick him up or should he come home.  But now remember there is my mother to factor into this equation.  We finally decide the best thing would be for him to come home and we will pick her up.  Now, this may be a good time to add that it is my father in laws birthday.  There was a meal planned and a birthday cake in the oven for that night.  Ok?  You see, when we do something here, we go all out.  We can't just simply say let's have a baby today.  We have to have two or three things going at the same time.  We are still that way. I also just laugh now at the scene of D on the phone with his sister telling her we need to change the supper plans for the evening.  (Might I add here, she didn't believe him.)  He's telling me to tell her we are going to the hospital.  (While I'm contracting & trying to breath through it.) ( If I weren't focusing on that I might would have hit him.)  It was a very long afternoon.  It was a very long night.  The oldest may have arrived on the seventeenth (at 2 a.m.), but he began his journey on the sixteenth.  There hasn't been a year to pass yet that I don't replay the whole day in my memory. 
Now, fast forward twenty years.  The youngest and I are taking the first step in the senior year today.  We have an appointment for "those" pictures.  The one that will go in the composite and hang in the hallway forever.  You see, we don't do things small here. Never just one item at a time. 
One turns twenty.  One begins a journey!

Monday, June 9, 2014

This dog & the Driver's seat

Lord y'all.  This dog! 
If you know me, you know this story & how it came to be.  If you don't, well, I will spare you the details. This is our second summer together.  It's a work in progress.  I'm pleased to say we are learning each other quite well. 
He loves to ride.  He loves to go.  He's very particular where he rides though.  If D & I are together, he is most likely on the console.  Or in D's lap.  (There's a picture for ya)
If it is just the two of us, (hardly ever) he's in my lap. (Reason why he is hardly ever with me.)
Anyway, as I said in my recent post, he took the trip to the lake with us.  We had to make a stop on the way & I'm tellin ya, he don't miss a thing.  I really think he has a disorder of some sort.  Or maybe he suffers from the December baby effect.  So there is a warning to all you folks expecting babies in December.  I've said that is why we collide so much.  We are probably too much alike.  Anyway, he won't lay in the passenger seat because he can't see. At this point we had stopped to get tires.  Yes tires.  For a truck.  (That is a post that probably won't happen.) He was so busy. Bouncing & watching.
 
 
He also loves to ride with his head hanging out the window.  But in this shot, we were sitting still.  There was construction going on next to the tire shop.  Pandemonium set in.  But he finally stilled & paid attention.

 
Please don't let the cuteness fool ya. 

 
He's a mess!
 

 
In fact, I think he's a nut!

This last one was on the front porch at the lake.  Watching the horses.  He wasn't sure about them. 
As I type this, it is Saturday morning.  The morning after the said trip to the lake.  He's laying in the bed.  Snoring....
He cracks me up though.  He has these little beds.  They are actually liners for the kennels.  (which we don't have)  Another area where I see similarities of being a December baby.  He would go nuts if we put him in one of those.  Anyway, he will drag one of the beds through the house when he is ready for bed.  Last Sunday morning one of the "beds" was on the couch.  I asked D why.  His reply was "he wanted it up here."  Rotten dog.
As he bounced from seat to seat I couldn't help but hear "that Voice" say "he's so eager to learn & see."  "Why can't you be that eager?"  So I have found myself pondering why am I (or we as Christians) not very eager to learn & see? I mean, if you stop & think about it, how often do you get excited enough to bounce from seat to seat just so you can see what is going on?  To see what God is up to?  And I've learned that He is always up to something.  I've also learned I need to be where I can see.  The only way I can do that, is to get myself on the console next to Him or just plant myself in His lap.  After all, He is the driver & apparently the view is better in the Driver's seat.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Be careful what you say

We were at the lake Memorial Day weekend.  Now let me just tell you the view from our front porch isn't much.  It would be nice if it were on the lake where I could sit & watch the boats.  Or just see the water.  But it isn't.  Instead it faces an empty pasture.  Silas & I sat on the porch quite a bit that weekend.  I read.  He napped or tried to see what all was going on (which wasn't much)  (especially since they put a ban on all the golf carts in the neighborhood sucking the fun out of anything!).  At some point though, there were kids riding a golf cart in the empty pasture.  D came in after a while & I said "You know, this view would be a little more entertaining if there were some horses over there to watch."  His reply was, a roll of the eyes & a shake of his head. 

Fast forward to yesterday.   D needed to go to the lake to try out his boat.  So the young one, Silas & I went along for the ride.  Plus I had the clean laundry to take back.  Anyway, much to my surprise guess what is there now.....

Yep.  Horses.  Two of them.
 




 
And I don't know, there was just something about the bobbed wire fence....
Brought back some memories.
 Now I know that my request to D was just a comment.  Not a real big desire to have horses in the pasture.  Is it a coincidence that there are horses there now?  Maybe.  But, here's the thing, the comment was just a blab of my brain (like a lot of things I say.  No filter), but, if, IF, God cares about the blabs of the brain, then those big matters of the heart are even more dear to Him.  He cares about the lilies of the field.  Remember, He loved us so much to send His Son to die for us.  Not the lilies.  Not the birds.  Us.  And if He so desires to put horses in a field just so Silas & I can watch for entertainment purposes a couple of times this summer, then I know He cares about my big "stuff".  And just for the record, I won't be surprised if the horses are gone the next time I am there.  They were probably just a reminder.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Remember when

 
As I was on my way to Walmart (a trip that I despise making) I had my feel good play list playing.  So on the way back home, I just plugged her back up to listen some more.  One song came on not far from home & I couldn't help but think about one of the great nephews.  He just loved this particular song a couple of summers ago.  It was a smash country hit.  I was reminded of that summer.  The fun & the memories that were made.  As I pulled in the driveway another came on & I couldn't help but think of the memories made back in the mid 90's.  I was a 20 something year old with a toddler & baby.  I instantly went back to the old living room with an episode of "Friends". 
And if you let me hear anything from the late 70's & 80's, I'm  a teenager, in a teenage girl's room, living here....
 
 
 This was & is home.  Mom & Dad build it in the late 70's.  I was mortified that they pulled me from the small town & stuck me in the country.  Hence, making me ride a school bus.  I didn't like country life.  Well, I didn't like living in the country.

Mom was out of town so she had me checking on things for her.  She's approximately five miles from me, so venturing out isn't a big deal.  On my way I could tell another round of rain was on the way.  I couldn't resist stopping for this.

 
I grew up around these fields.  They surrounded me.

 
I couldn't find the beauty in these flat fields that produce beans, corn & wheat.  But now, I appreciate them.  I see the beauty.  That house up there has become a favorite place for some.  A refuge so to speak.  It was on that stinkin school bus that I met my man. 
See, God does have a plan.  And as I look back & remember when, I am so thankful He does.