Monday, July 28, 2014

Sifting through all the "Sifting"

Way back when, I posted about a Women's Conference that would be held.  The big day finally came this past Saturday.  The closer the day got, the more spiritual warfare everyone involved came under.  As Friday night came, I was worse than a kid on Christmas Eve.  As Saturday morning came, well, I asked myself why in the world I was even bothering putting on makeup.  I knew by then time it was over I would have cried it all off.  I wasn't wrong.  You see, from the very beginning, I knew this day would be big.  I never doubted for a minute that God was in it & had ordained it.  I never doubted or even wondered if He would show up.  I KNEW HE WOULD.  What I was amazed at the most was the response of all these women.  I thought it would be great to have 50 women there.  I just never thought over 130.  But it just proves that you never underestimate God. 

In my last post I spoke of a jump that I had taken.  But I didn't give that jump a name.  The jump was one of huge faith.  I quit the job that I have had for the last ten years.  I will be helping my man in his business.  I laugh and say I will now be at his beck & call for sure.  And that's ok.  However, on the other side of that, I have no idea what I will get into.   It may not ever amount to anything but because of all the confirmations He has shown I'm willing to wait it out and see. 

Several commented Saturday on another conference.  Maybe there will be one, maybe there won't.  I can't say right now.  All I can say is I hope so. 

I can't thank the ladies that spoke or the ladies that sang enough.  My people at Laneview Baptist Church, you are the best.  You are a mighty fine group of people.  From the prayers, to the food, to the men serving, none of it would have been possible without your willingness. 

As the ladies each stood behind that pulpit, whether it was to sing or speak, I felt like a proud mama.  I knew how hard it was for them to open their mouth's & share.  Nerves had been shaken & Satan tried his best.  But our God is bigger.  And above all else, I am so, so thankful that He chose me to get it together.  It was an easy thing to do really.  I just asked the girls. They said yes.  And He did the rest.  I was just honored sit on the sideline and watch Him work.  And I'm telling you, it was amazing! 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

HOLD MY HAND AND TRUST

Hold my hand & trust.  Those were the first words in a devotion the day before I jumped.  I have weighed my options at every turn.  I have come up with every single possibility there is.  I have tried to answer the questions and the what ifs for Him.  I have talked D's ears off.  (So don't laugh when you see him without his ears.) He has told me from the start that jumping wouldn't hurt and we would be ok.  Yet, I have stilled talked.  I have still tried to figure it out.  I will admit I am a selfish spoiled brat.  I own it.  No therapy needed.  (or at least I don't think so)  Anyway, back to those first words.  I don't always look up the scripture referenced in the devotion.  I didn't on this particular morning either.  But mid morning, I talked with a neutral party.  Weighed more options.  Came home and felt like I was as close to a panic attack as what I have ever been.  I did the only thing I knew to do.  I got the devotional book back out.  Looked up the scripture reference and it says this...."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you: I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.  Jumping off a fence & walking by faith is what I am doing now.  I gave up something that I have held dear for 10 years.  Maybe I made a difference there.  I won't know this side of heaven.  And I'm ok with that.  My life is changing.  It's rearranging.  And I have no idea what is on the other side of this journey I have been on.  But I do believe it is something big.  I am holding His hand and trusting.  One thing is for sure, He is in this jump.  He has held my hand.  Pointed me at every turn. Erased the doubt.  Over and Over again.   I have been absolutely blown away by His presence and His peace.  So much so that I have had to keep so much of it to myself.  I have been left in tears and speechless.  (Which if you know me, you know that is near impossible.)  But I serve a mighty big God.  I'm a bit scared.  But He has me.  Of this much I am sure.