Friday, November 20, 2015

A rant & a prayer ....a must read

The past several weeks I've just gotten down right irritated when I scroll through my news feed on Facebook.  There's very few positives there.  What has happened?  I know I don't have to scroll Facebook & I don't that much anymore for that simple reason.  I very rarely watch the news anymore either.  I can't remember the last time I heard anything positive on it.

Now I will be the first to admit my attitude often times isn't the best.  God and I, well we've been working on it.  And here's what we've come up with.  

There's so much uncertainty in our world and nation right now.  Folks seem to be on edge and offended at every turn.  It's irritating. 
Psalm 62:8  "Trust in him at all times O people; pour your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

Lord may we trust in you at all times.  Even on those days when it is the hardest.  And why shouldn't we pour our hearts out to you?  You alone know the plans you have for us.  Plans to prosper us and not harm us.  If we can't trust you then who?  Your love is so vast we can't comprehend it.  So in all the uncertainty of this world may we rest in the peace and in the fact that you do love us.  That we can trust you at all times.  In all things.  Big and small. May we be reminded that you are still on your throne and you are still in control.  You still work miracles and no one can take any of that away.
Thanksgiving is less than a week away.  May we focus more on you and not all the negative.  May we be quick to realize the blessings that you have poured out that we don't deserve.  
May we be the person that you want us to be.  Not what the world wants.  Not what we want.  But what you want.  I want to be the kind that doesn't hide my light under a bush.  That when I encounter people they want some of what I have and that's you.  It's all about you.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Once upon a time

Once upon a time we had a dog.  Not this dog.  The other dog.  His name was Sampson.  He was a mama's boy if a dog could ever be a mama's boy.  This dog is NOT!  We still have a love hate relationship.  It has evolved.  We've just decided it best for both of us to just do the best we can because, like it or not, we are stuck together.  We have no choice.  
God used Sampson to speak to me quiet often.  Now before you say the woman has lost her mind, let me remind you that God used a burning bush, a whale, even a donkey, to get his point across.  Dogs can be no different.  He hasn't done it that much with Silas.  Or maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm not paying attention.  (which is highly possible)  In my defense there's been quite a stir since Samps died & Silas entered the picture.  
Sampson had to be where I was.  If I was home, he was in the room with me.  Just about at all times.  If he knew I was outside, he was ok with that.  Some call it separation anxiety.  
Silas doesn't have that.
He doesn't care where I am or what I'm doing unless it's something he wants.  
If he hears the door open then by all means he thinks he needs to go out too.  Other than that, he simply doesn't care.  Just like at this moment, he is no where to be found.  Mainly because I don't have anything he wants.  
Let's just say I walk into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.  He simply doesn't care.  But let me open a drawer, rattle the silverware, give him a second and he's there.  He thinks there might be food involved.  
Now let's say I'm in the kitchen to empty the dishwasher.  Not interested.  However, let me get in the kitchen to cook....Guess what....He's there.  
Which is where this post comes to life.  
I took the above picture while I stood at the stove.  He wasn't leaving.  He waited with anticipation.  Once the plates are set on the table he will wait by D's chair.  With anticipation.
Can you guess where I'm going with this?  
How often to we treat God this way?
We could care less if He's in the house or not.  We just want to know He's close by if we need Him.  Right?
Until we want something.  Or if we think He may have something we want.  
I'm guilty of this.  Knowing God is every present in all my goings & comings.  Yet I never acknowledge Him.  Until I want something.
How sad is this?  
I want to be better.  I want to do better.  I want to be closer.  I want to be more like Samps was.  I want to be where my Father is.  At all times.  I don't want to just be satisfied knowing He's in the house.  I want to be at His feet more.  Not because I want something from Him, but just because I enjoy His presence.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Pray for those babies

These thoughts just flooded my brain, so bare with me. 
I'm a 70's baby.  That means I will be forty something in a few months.  Being a 70's baby means I'm an 80's child at heart.  I love, love, love fashion.  I'm picky with my hair.  I also love the sitcom "Friends".  I never get bored watching the reruns.  They take me back to a busy yet crazy time.  They take me back to the days when the preacher wasn't a full time preacher just yet.  The boys were little.  I guess I could call them babies.  It was nothing for me to be in the rocker on Thursday night with a new episode of "Friends" on the television, a baby in my arms & the other tucked in beside me.  Sweet times.
I'm ever so thankful that the show is still on.  Most every afternoon I change the channel just to have those familiar voices running through the house.  On one particular episode today, Rachel has come home from the hospital with the newborn Emma.  Rachel has no idea what to do with that crying baby.  She can't get her to stop crying.  She has tried everything.  Monica is the only one who can get her to stop crying.  Remember that episode?? 
Anyway, it made me think of all my mama friends. I have several friends/acquaintances who are at different levels of mothering.  There's a couple that are mothering newborns.  There are some in the midst of preschool and elementary.  There are some who are in the deep dark cave of teenagehood. There are some like me (and I expect to hear them shout AMEN).   Now I'm not going to get all sappy on you here.  I know I'm not the first mother who has ever had a child to get married.  I know I'm not the first who has ever had a child to grow up & move out.  I know I'm not the first mother to ever blog/write about such things.  But maybe I'm the first you have ever read.  Maybe I'm the first that one of my facebook friends will see/read.  So here ya go.

To you, young mother, who is rocking that newborn, hang in there.  That baby won't be a baby for long.  That baby won't always be crying.  That baby won't always want you to rock.  Sing with that baby & pray for that baby.  Time flies.

To you, young mother, who is between preschool & elementary, hang in there.  They told me once they started kindergarten time would never stand still again.  It don't.  It flies.   I promise it was just yesterday I put the oldest to bed knowing he started to school tomorrow.  That was many years ago.  There won't always be a lunch to pack.  There won't always be homework to help with.  There won't always be supper & homework & a ballgame or practice.  It will be done & gone in the blink of an eye. None the less, that is still your baby.  Pray for that baby.  

To you, young mother, that is in the depth of the cave....Lord bless your heart.  Those are some dark days aren't they?  But you hang in there.  It won't always be that dark.  Help with that homework as much as you can.  Answer those questions as best you can.  Keep your mouth shut as best you can.  Be there as much as you possibly can.  Your presence will mean more than you know. But that teenager is still your baby.  Pray for that baby.

And to you, young mother, who is in this boat with me.. Pray for that baby.  It may be that this is the first year on a college campus.  Maybe the first time away from home because they have joined a branch of the military.  Maybe they've just moved out & become a responsible adult.  Doesn't matter does it?  That is still your baby.

Bottom line is this, no matter what season you are in, whether it is the newborn or the teenager, it won't last long.  That stage will be gone tomorrow and a new one will arrive.  Just savor it.  Don't rush through it.  Take a million pictures either in your mind or on film.  Be present in every moment.  Don't make them beg for your attention.  Everything else will be there when they aren't.  Just hang in there.  They need you. 
I know there are long days and nights.  Let me encourage you to draw your strength from the Lord.  In those nights when that newborn isn't sure if it's day or night, savor that time as best you can.  As that little poem says, it may be the last night for an all nighter.  That baby may sleep through the night tomorrow night.  Get the idea?  Our babies are only little for such a little while.  Our little boys will only play in the mud for a short time.  Those little girls will only want to wear a bow for a little while.  And then one day....Pray for those babies.  If you, young mother, don't pray for them, who will?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

August you confirmed it today.... I don't like you

I've debated it since the first day.  I will admit you have given me several important people.  People I love.  And now you add another anniversary to your list too.  But I just gotta tell you, I don't like you.  You have always brought change and we know how I am with change.  I don't like it much.  This year though, this year you have outdone yourself.  
You know, you always signified the end of summer.  You would roll around and we all had to head back to school and work.  Until this year.   While everyone else headed off to work, I was headed in a different direction.  I was sitting on the edge or out in a field chasing butterflies.  I was sitting on the edge because I knew on any given day, the oldest would come in from work for the last time.  He would come in and they would proceed to move his furniture and clothes out.  But while I waited on that day, I busied myself with whatever knowing all the changes were coming.  You see, when he came in to move his stuff that meant that the youngest was one day closer to moving upstairs.  Something he has said for a while he was going to do.  I wasn't even going to attempt that until after the wedding.  With the wedding over and the kids on the honeymoon, last Monday came & I headed upstairs.  By the end of the week, the room upstairs was done and the youngest was there.  That meant the room downstairs was in total disarray.  I worked on it over the weekend and they came yesterday to put the carpet down in there.  To sum up the last week, I've painted a total of four rooms.  Two bedrooms & two bathrooms.  I was making it just fine with all the changes going on around here. 
Until today.
Yesterday D came in to say he thought we would have the driveway blacktopped. Not a big deal.  It needs it.  It's bee several years since it's been done.  Can't park or drive on it for 24 hours after it's done.  I can live with that. 
Morning rolled around today just like any other morning. 
These men pulled up in the driveway to start the preparations for the blacktop.  They were done and it was time for Silas & I to head to the mailbox.  It's a trip we make daily.  But, when I raised the garage door, something was missing.

You may not notice it, but a piece of history is gone.  We have lived here for sixteen years now.  For the majority of those years there's been a basketball goal of some sort in this spot.  It's been a subject of irritation sometimes.  You always had to remember it was there or you would hit it backing out of the garage.  Visitors would always have to be directed around it.  But that's not the reason I was undone.  There's been lots of shots taken on that stupid thing.

At some point, there were competitions to see who could slap the backboard.

There have also been competitions to see who could get "net".  And now???
It's lying on the ground in the back yard.
This last one was a gift from Santa one year.  It wasn't one of those on wheels.  It had a pole that had to have a hole in the ground.
Now, the hole is there but no pole.
Will it go back up once the driveway is done?  I have no idea.  I'm thinking probably not.
So today August, I don't like you.  You have brought one too many changes for me this year. And for just a sliver of a second I'm gonna stomp my foot and say I've had enough.  I'm gonna pout for just a second and then move on.

Monday, August 17, 2015

I sat & stared at the white page on the screen with the flashing cursor for a while before I could type.  Mainly because I don't know where to begin.  We had known this day would come.  He gave her the ring in November 2013.  However, no serious plans were written down until this year.  And since March, it has been a ride.  We all started working on their house in March and it seems it has been day & night since then.  There was a minor surgery thrown in the mix.  A graduation.  A sabbatical from the church.  And just the everyday life of a woman with hormones.  And if the last fact doesn't kill a woman or anyone in her line of fire, then right there's proof enough that God does still work miracles.

Now let me talk to you mama's with boys for a minute. If you haven't already, start praying right now for them & their mate.  Ask God to guide their steps & their life.  And in His time, put them together.  You, mama, get out of the way.  Let God do His work.  And He will.  But in His time.  
Next, start preparing yourself.  One day when the woman that God has for your son comes along, you will wake up & realize your job is done.  He won't need you to wash his clothes or cook for him.  He won't call you to fix his lawn mower, car, or roof.  All he will basically need from you, is to know that you are, as you always have been, praying for him & his bride.  And when your boy(s) is/are what makes up the biggest part of your heart, this hurts.  But let me remind you, they aren't yours to keep.  That's not the way God intended it to be.  He entrusted them to you.  Pray for them & let them go.  They have to spread their wings too just like your husband did.  

 Now let's get down to some more business.. I knew the day was approaching.  Rather quickly in fact.  And as the months grew closer, I felt the nudge & heard that still small voice.  You see, the date was set, along with the back yard of the church as the venue.  There was, however, no plan B in case of rain.  And you know what an August day is here in Tennessee?  HOT!  
The daughter in law, her mother, sister & myself had been to a bridal show in January and I told them the only thing to do would be to ask God to pour out His grace & mercy on the day.  I was going to be specific and ask for a high of 75 with a north wind.  They laughed.  I wasn't kidding.  
Back to the nudge...I knew God was guiding me into a fast I was just hesitant to go.  But the days grew closer & the voice got louder.  I had no doubts what so ever what He was calling me to do.  So, mama, let me tell you this, when God tells you to do something, do it!  In my case, it was to fast & pray for my son & soon to be daughter's wedding day.  And no, I didn't fast from food.  God was direct though in what I was to fast from.  Two weeks ago I knew it was time to get serious.  I pulled the weather app on my phone & waited with faith to see what He was going to do.  Family &  friends would say, it's going to be so hot.  What if it rains?   But I knew no matter what it was going to be the best day.  Not because of me or what God had told me to do, but because of who God is.  Saturday drew closer and the chance of rain crept in like a secret.  I still knew not to worry.  God had it.  Sure enough a little after noon we heard the rumble of thunder.  Wasn't long until we were getting word that it was raining at the church.  I wasn't concerned. 

I hadn't planned on getting on the roller coaster Saturday morning.  I didn't have time for the ride, but I found myself on the front row.  Until I happened to look out the bedroom door.  A cardinal flew onto a limb of our crept myrtle.  And boy did he have that limb flapping.  I knew then, not only had God heard my prayer, He was answering.  That cardinal was a sign that my earthly father was telling me to get off the ride. To hush.  A little funny from my wedding day twenty five years ago.... I'm a stickler for order.  I don't usually fly by the seat of my pants.  I plan things out.  I organize.  But on my wedding day when my daddy got me to the lobby of the church, the preacher, D & best man were already at the alter.  IT WASN'T TIME!!!!  All I could say to my daddy is, "they aren't supposed to be there yet."  His reply was "hush there's nothing you can do about it!"

The rest of the day was perfect.  Yes, it was hot.  Yes it rained at the church.  But God....
He is faithful.  He knows our needs.  He knows our desires.  He hears our prayers. 

When the music began to play at 5:30, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.  The sun was beaming & there was a river running down my back. 

Now to you, my new daughter, you now will share in the role that my oldest has had all his life.  The first.  You will both share in the role of teaching me how to be a mother in law.  You will both teach me how to pray for your family.  And honestly, I'm a little excited about it.  Do you remember the messages we had a few days before the wedding concerning the weather?  Remember the one where I told you I was on it?  I still am.  I know there will be days that I may not pray like I need to, but I do know that God knows the desires of my heart.  My heart's desire is for you & my boy to have many wonderful years together.  There will be days when you don't even want to look at him.  But there will be days when you can't get enough of him.  Be patient with him.  Love him.  Cheer him on.  Laugh with him.  Pray with him & for him.  Daily.

Finally, I can't take any credit for any of the weather Saturday.  I can't take credit for the way these boys have turned out.  I will always believe that the shower Saturday & the brilliant sunshine was from God alone.  He gets all the glory for the way it all turned out.  He just proved to me that what His word says is true.  He used the opportunity to prove to me that nothing is to hard or to big for Him.  He proved to me that if I will just trust Him, His time, His will, it will all be alright.   I've known it.  I've always believed it.  But He never stops teaching me.

As for this first child of mine, he's my gift.  I've said it from the moment I thought I might be pregnant with him.  I will always believe God orchestrated that boys life at a time when I needed him the most.  He was my life.  My world.  And I would have moved heaven & earth for him.  Letting him go was hard.  I won't lie.  But I also knew I couldn't keep him for long anyway.  

The sunset was as beautiful as the day & the bride.
 This may be my favorite.  I love him big!

 But this one?  This one will always have a special place. 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

What I know for sure

There comes a point is one's life when you just need to slow down.  Even stop.  And that is exactly what we've done these past six weeks.  We didn't completely stop, but we have been doing a slow crawl.  (or so it seems)  In less than a month now, the oldest and his new bride won't even be married a full twenty four hours.  I expect the house to be a little quieter & the grocery bill & electric to decrease some. 

During these past six weeks several things have happened in our nation.  Debates have risen to the point that I just can't hardly stand to scroll all the social media news feeds.  And during these past six weeks God has been doing a work in me.  Maybe not a big work, but a work.  He's been adjusting my attitude toward some things.  Some things, though, I'm trying hard to hold on to.  Which probably isn't good.  Maybe that is where the struggle is.   What can I say, I'm a work in progress. 

The preacher, the dog, & I have taken a quick road trip this week.  We headed south on Monday.  It was more business than it was rest & relaxing.  At this point in the game who has time to relax?  The whole trip was off just about from the beginning.  But none the less, we went.  We stayed in a completely different place this time & the whole time I was trying to find a place, D was telling me he didn't think I would like this area.  It wasn't on the beach.  My mother recently made a statement & I quoted her to him, "I can tolerate just about anything for a little while."  That's what I did.  I tolerated it. 

I finally got my feet in the sand Wednesday morning.  Now, let me stop here & interject that these days, I am an emotional walking time bomb.  (or so it seems to me) As soon as I got a glimpse of that sight, I could hardly contain myself.  That place holds something special for me.  It's a place where these boys spent at least seven weeks of their lives.  They may have been miserable doing it, but there are seven weeks of memories there.  There's been some stress relief on that sand & in that water.  There's been some worship in that sand.  There's just something about that sand, water & the breeze.  It just seems to take whatever life has thrown and make it disappear.  If only for a few minutes.  That's what it does.

So during these last six weeks I've come to know a couple of things for sure.  One is this.  I need worship.  I mean a good, deep down time of worship.  One that will last a little longer than the Sunday morning worship hour.  I need to stay at His feet a little longer than I have been.  And as for all the mess & the debates that are lingering out there... Bishop T. D. Jakes said it best..."God is still on His throne."  He is still in control of all this.  I also agree with what Beth Moore tweeted today..."holding onto the Scriptures-knowing them/loving them-will be the way we survive with our belief system intact here."  We as Christians will have to dig deeper than we ever have, search harder than we've ever searched & believe with a bigger faith than we ever have.  God is gonna get His glory.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

So are you waiting???

Once upon an Easter afternoon while everyone else was having lunch with their family or taking the "Easter 2015" family picture we took a road trip.  

We were celebrating being married for 25 years!  We headed south for a few days.  I was stingy with my day.  No, let me rephrase that, I was stingy with this trip.  I will say I loved every minute of it, and I should have bought the tee shirt that said, "There are just some days I wish would never end."  I said that about every day. 
I've pondered today. I've thought back to a week ago.  I woke up last Wednesday to heavy fog.  As I stood on the balcony, I could hardly see my hand in front of my face.  But as the hour passed so did the fog.  We headed down to enjoy some sun.  Instead once we got settled, we got this:
 No sun.  Just a lot of fog.  It would move in & move out.

 And honestly, I wasn't too happy about it.  I've said it doesn't matter to me what the weather is as long as I'm there.  For the most part that's the truth.  But on this day I was really wanting some sun.

So as I waited Psalm 40:1 came to my mind.  "I waited patiently for the Lord" kept running through my mind.  Now, if you know me, patience isn't one of my best virtues. At All!  But I waited.  I felt myself growing a bit antsy though.  I even asked D where the sun was & when it was going to burn the fog & shine through.  Like he would know!!! But then...

 It did.  In all her glory.  It was bright.  It was warm.  It was sunny.  It was perfect.  

It was a perfect end to a perfect get away.  
But since returning home that scripture has run through my head every single day!  I've felt the peace that passes all understanding, I've heard that still small voice.  To just wait.  I've even heard Him say stop talking to me & let me speak.  
So here's the deal.  I see so many that are hurting.  So many that are dealing with things beyond their control.  And so many of us, (myself included) want to rush past everything that isn't on our agenda.  We don't want to wait it out.  We don't want to be still.  
Honestly, I had the thought a couple of times while waiting for the fog to lift to just say forget it.  Let's go shop or something.  If I had given in,  I would have missed out.  
So whatever you are in, don't rush it.  So what if it's uncomfortable.  So what if it's inconvenient.  God has something in it for you.  Just hang on & wait it out.  
As I finished typing this out the thought occurs to me that there was a post not long ago about waiting.  
So now I'm thinking that there's a message here for somebody.  Me.  You.  Both of us?  I don't know.  So let's just both give in to the wait & wait the thing, whatever it is, out. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Between the Rains

This may be a long post.  So head's up.  You may either want to close this out or buckle up.  I've been away for a while now.  Mainly because, well, just because.  When I took the leap of faith last July, I wondered if the blog was where I was heading.  In between the business and blog?  Was that where God was leading?  I done some research.  Gathered information.  Got myself prepared to dig into this.  But something just didn't settle.  Still hasn't.  There's a lot more than usual going on in this head & heart of mine.  And honestly, it isn't anything you care to know about.  So we will leave it at that. 

I will say that not a lot has happened on then home front since Christmas.  I've just made it through.  I'm glad that we will bid farewell to winter in a couple of days.  But as we bid farewell to winter, we say hello to eighteen.  It's my understanding, that as I type, there is a cap & gown along with a diploma cover and invitations waiting with our name on it.  It's all about to get real.  And I mean it's gonna get real, real fast.  I could swear it was just yesterday that I had the appointment and his daddy was setting out a "Bradford Pear".  Now here we are. 

There's other things that are getting real too.  Chances are, the other will be moving out really soon.  And in the distance I hear something that sounds like wedding bells.  That or could it be Dean Martin singing "Ain't that a kick in the head"?  Either way.... Life is changing & rearranging.  Literally.

Which brings me to this.... The title of our lesson Sunday was "Between the Rains".  It was a session from James Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore.  Basically it was this...We've all wondered why we can't stay on  those mountain tops with God.  Those moments when we feel His presence ever so close and we don't want them to end.  But somewhere along the way, something happens and we wonder where He went and what to do to get Him back.  She made this statement that struck a chord with me.."He doesn't leave.  He just goes underground.  A seed can't grow if it's flooded."  Makes perfect sense.  The question that hung over the lesson was what to do in between those rains.  The "rains" of His presence.  Those times when we struggle with situations and circumstances and want to feel Him near but it seems He must be basking in the sun on the beaches of the Bahamas.  We just have to go through them and look for the beauty.  We have to go through a drought.  It is in those times of drought that we put to test what we learned on the mountain top.  Now I'm not saying that I am in a drought.  But I am climbing back to the mountain top.  I am sitting between the rains.  I am, as Elijah, looking for a cloud the size of a fist.  I am looking and expecting a rain. 

I have no idea where God is leading me.  I quit a job thinking I may know, only to find out I have no idea.  I just know He will reveal it when the time is right.  And maybe it is just to do what I'm doing.  Being here for my family.  All here.  Being all here for Him.  Being all present  during the watching and waiting.  I've said all along I would never post anything unless I felt the nudge from Him.  And that's exactly what I've done.  There have still been those moments when I have, no doubt, felt Him & heard Him speak.  But they weren't for the public. 

The other thing that stuck with me was this & I hope you can write it down and know it too, "As sure as the sun comes up tomorrow, my God is faithful."  Lord is that not a promise?  We just have to keep on keeping on.  Looking for the cloud & know that our rain is coming. 

So just know, I'm here.  I'm just in between rains. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Beauty from ashes or snow/ice

It's been over a week now.  This white stuff, well, it's been in this spot for over a week. 
I'm on the verge of packing a bag and heading south.  Far south.  I am in desperate need of warmth and sunshine.  As many of you are. 
However, as I walked past the front door yesterday these buttercups caught my attention.  That's when it happened.  I heard that still small voice.  I felt that small nudge.  Thoughts started to move and I immediately thought of the scripture of beauty instead of ashes.  Isaiah 61:3 "he will give a crown of beauty for ashes."  I know this verse is talking to the children of Israel, but to me it applies to so much.  The subtitle in the NLT is "Good news for the oppressed".  I know, for the most part, we aren't "oppressed" because of this snow/ice mix.  (Well, maybe a little.)  But just as the buttercups can still push their way through the cold mess on top of them, we too, can press our way on through.  There are many a messes around us.  Maybe it's family messes, maybe it's financial messes, maybe it's a work related mess.  Maybe it's emotional, physical, or whatever mess you think you are in,  God can trade that mess, those ashes, for beauty.  Let me rephrase that, it's not that He can, He WIll.
Just like waiting for this white stuff to melt, it takes time.  We run out of patience and want to fix it ourselves.  We can't.  He will.  So, until then, we just have to hang in & press on.  One of these days, the sun will shine again and it will be warm.  Those green stalks will have beautiful, colorful blooms on them. I can almost see them now, swaying with the breeze and giving praise to the Lord for seeing them through.  So once you have your beauty will you do as the buttercup?  Will you sway with the breeze and praise?  Or will you complain because it's just to hot? I know what I'm gonna do!!!

Friday, January 23, 2015

Waiting the thing out!

Funny how things work out isn't it?  I tried to get my thoughts around Sunday but they just weren't there.  The next thing I knew, it was Thursday and I had no Fashion desire either.  And I won't even blame it on the weather.  Because this week has been off the charts.  Way to go sunshine & wonderful temps.  But on the other hand maybe it is the weather's fault.  I was either loving it or preparing myself for the next round of winter.  Either way my mind hasn't been on posting.  Until yesterday afternoon.   Every afternoon around four o'clock Silas will make his way to the front door.  He will sit there and watch the traffic but he is primarily there to wait for D & the boys to come in.  His posture caught my attention Wednesday afternoon so I snapped a photo of him.  I then shared in on instagram and facebook.  He got several likes on both. 

There is nothing unusual about this.  It is normal.  I promise.

That was Wednesday.  Thursday afternoon came and he was back in his spot.  I promise.  I'm creative, but I'm not that creative and he isn't that cooperative.

After I took this one, I went on about my business only to hear the verse from Isaiah "Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength."  Now I know he isn't waiting on the Lord.  I promise.  But at this point there are lots of thoughts running through my mind.

One was expectancy.  Silas is expecting those three to pull in the drive way at any moment.  And when one of them finally does, he runs to the other door to meet them. It's a show I promise.

I then found him doing this.  Y'all the dog is so talented.

I'm not much on waiting. On anything. I never have been.  I don't move slow.  Never have.
As I pondered all that was going on in my head I remembered what I read in my devotional.  "Start at the present moment-accepting things exactly as they are-and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances."  It is highlighted in that book and I couldn't figure out why.  Then it dawned on me that it was this time last year that I started feeling the nudge to leave my job.  The scripture that is referenced in that devotion was Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go: He's the one who will keep you on track."  (The Message)
When we trust Him from the bottom of our hearts and we don't try to figure everything out on our own, it's called waiting.

I was also reminded that it's been 22 years since God called my daddy home.  During those months of treatment and the days before he died the verse we clung to was Isaiah 40:31 "but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles: they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

There's a lot to be said for the waiting.  Waiting is hard.  But it is something we all have to do at some point in time.

And now here I am.  It's Friday afternoon.  I finished all of the above last night.  But something wasn't right.  So I sat on it.  Until now.  I have just gotten a text from a dear friend.  This friend has got some trials going on in their life.  And they aren't just little speed bumps.  This friend is hanging on to their faith.  But mainly to our God.  They were just letting me know that they had something else added to their plate today, which they wanted me to add to the list of things I was praying for.  But this is the message that made me stop what I was doing and finish this up:  "But you know what...I am looking for God to do something BIG!  His blessings are always bigger than our trials right?"  My reply was: "YES! We just sometimes have to wait those trials out."  This friend had no idea I had this post typed. 

The conversation goes on & this reply comes back:  "Heck I don't care if it is big.  I just know when you get to the top of that get the best view."  My reply was: "Yes!!! And it's a beautiful sight."  The reply was:  "Getting my binoculars!"  I said:  "You won't need them."  They say:  "ok but I am taking a tent, chair & firewood... I would like to camp out there for a bit." 

You see, the trials are often hard.  But the other side of them is beautiful.  It's in those trials we gain our strength.  Strength we didn't know we had or could have.  It's in those times we are drawn closer & stronger.  We have to wait them out.  And once we are on the other side, we can be like Silas and run!!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Thursday's Thoughts on Fashion

What a morning!  Really, what a week.  I not sure how we got to Thursday so fast.  As I was brushing my teeth this morning I thought, "It's Thursday! I haven't even done a post!"  I had two of the three males out of the house when I sat down to get a post together.  When what do my ears hear?  The voice of the third male say, "MOOOMMM!"  I got up to investigate his tone only to find water in his bathroom closet.  So...dealing with a water leak wasn't on my to do list today.  I've gotten the rainbow out & sucked water.  The preacher has been home to investigate and now gone on a shopping spree for a water heater. 

With all that out of the way let's talk hats! I have fallen in love with the look of these hats.  I haven't found one yet that I could even try on.  So I really have no idea if I could wear one.  And even if I could, I don't know who would want to be seen with me wearing it.'s my picks.

 I just think they are so adorable and I would love to try to wear one. 

 Of course it would have to be in the right setting with the right outfit.

I don't know, there's just something about a hat that adds some interest.  But you know,  you don't see many women wearing hats around here.  Well, with the exception of a baseball cap, and then there's the sun visor.  Which right now, you don't really have a need for that.  I do pull out a big floppy hat in the summer for the pool and lake.  Other than that I just haven't found the nerve to buy one or wear one out in public.  But I do love the idea and look.

 I realize this one isn't a "hat" so to speak.  I just loved the look.  I'm not real sure of the correct name of these, I just refer to them as "beanies."  And I do wear them in the winter.  I am not ashamed at all.  I remember my grandmother crocheting toboggans when I was growing up and I hated to wear them.  Funny how things change.

Happy Thursday. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I'm on the lookout for that word!

Remember way back on December 31 I had the post about the one word for 2015?  Remember what my word was?  HAPPY.  I talked about how a blogger had commented on how God has used her one word.  It wasn't something she was deliberate about.  But He was.  Well we are approaching the halfway mark of January and I can't tell you how many times I've seen this word.  And every time I see it, I'm reminded to be just that.  Some time during that first week of January we were in Lowe's and the song Happy was playing.  You know the one by Pharell Williams?  I had it on my mind to change my ring tone to that, but just hadn't gotten around to it.  But I kept hearing that song so I finally did.  And there have been several more instances where the word has come up.  But today...Mom had a doc appointment.  As she said we take the lemons and make lemonade.   As we were walking out of the store I spotted this.

It caught my attention to say the least.  I debated a while.  Wondered what I could wear with it.  I even told mom I could hear the comments now.  Something along the lines of a jailbreak.  It was the letters across the top that attracted me.  A reminder.  I talked myself into getting it.  Without trying it on.  Sad to say it will have to go back to the store. I can't do horizontal stripes well and this made me look & feel like the assumed comments. (ha!)  So I'm wondering, did you choose a word?  If so, how often are you seeing it?  Feeling it?  Doing it?  Again though, it isn't so much as what you do, as it is what He does.  That word will come up more than you think it will.  Maybe you haven't seen much or felt much of you word yet.  Let me ask this, how committed were you when you chose your word?  Be on the lookout!!!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Sunday Reflections

Here it is Monday night and I still haven't got this post posted!  The computer, Internet, & my brain weren't communicating very well last night.  And it has taken me all day today to process the last three days.  So with out further ado.....

It has taken every bit of fifteen minutes just to get this first sentence typed.  That tells me that Satan doesn't want me to reflect on this day.  I just really have no words to describe our service this morning.  It started with our lesson as always.  Those ladies in that class have no idea how much they mean to me.  I explained to them that Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde was with them which wasn't far from the truth.  I love the fact that I can get behind that door and still be me.  I don't have to pretend.  We can share secrets, heartaches, concerns or just frustrations and it all stays right there.  We laughed til we cried this morning, and once we got started in the service we cried some more.  But not from laughing.  Mainly because of the sweet presence that swept through that room. 

When D got in the pulpit he explained that what was about to happen was rare and not anything that he had experienced or done in our time there.  For the first time God hadn't given him a message.  But he had given him a vision if you will.  When two or three are gathered, He is in the midst.  We had more than three and He was surely in the midst. 

Once church was over I had the privilege of attending a bridal show with the future daughter in law,  her mom & sister.  We laughed and got some good ideas.  I ordered supper for my bucnch, had some conversations over the Mexican food & laughed really hard.  As I was emptying the dishwasher & winding down from the day (headache & all) I could hear laughter from both upstairs & down.  I could hear girls giggling & boys laughing.  I couldn't help but thank my Father for all the blessings.  Not just of today, but yesterday & tomorrow.  He is so good & so worthy.  

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Thursday's Thoughts on Fashion

As always on January 1 or maybe before, there is usually a segment on some morning news show about the upcoming fashion for the new year.  This year was no different.  One morning last week there was such a segment.  Most often they are geared more toward the "red carpet" (which doesn't apply to me).  But this year the fashion guru said something that caught my attention.  Denim on denim.  They then proceeded to show a picture from 2001 of Brittney Spears & Justin Timberlake when they were dressed from head to toe in denim...

The guru goes on to say that denim on denim will be just fine as long as it doesn't "match".  In other words combine them  dark with light.  You get the idea...

So here's some of my picks.

 All of these are doable with things you probably have in your closet. 

 Add a blazer to "dress" it up a bit.

So there ya have it!  Happy 2015. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

To my future daughter in law

 I've thought about these words for a while. Who they would be for and when to let you see them.   I think it may be time.  

To my future daughter in law,  you will never understand this feeling until you, yourself become a mother.  I understand that it is different when you have a daughter.  I don't.  I have two boys, and you will one day marry one of them.  I had never known love like this until the reality of actually having another living, breathing creature living inside my body set in.   I had never felt the need to care for something so much.  I had never felt the excitement that I felt in those nine months.  Even in loving their father, loving the little boy, your future husband, was different.

I remember just about every detail of the pregnancy. I remember every detail of the day he was born.  I remember how I felt when they handed him to me for the first time & I saw his little face.  He was perfect.  He was mine. I remember how he felt wrapped up in the hospital blanket.  I remember how nervous I was when we loaded up in the car to bring him home.  I missed him being a part of me for a while after he was born.  I knew he was safe there inside of me.  I knew I could take care of him there.  You see, I wanted to be there for every moment, every first experience he had. I was the one who got up with him at night.  When he cried I wanted to be there.  When he hurt himself and needed band aides, I wanted to be there.  I busied myself  taking countless pictures of him as he grew.  Both with a camera and in my mind. I didn't want to miss a moment.

You know, I was the first woman he ever loved.  I was the first woman he ever kissed.  I was the first woman that he ever said "I love you" to.  I was the first woman that he saw when he went to sleep and the first when he woke up.  I was the first woman that ever cooked for him or washed his clothes.  I was the first woman who ever loved him for who he was.  I was also the first woman to ever hurt him.  I was  the first woman that he told his secrets to.  I was the first woman to hear his heart beat.  I was the first woman to ever see him cry.

I'm not saying all of this to be mean or to hurt your feelings, in fact, it's right the opposite. I'm saying all of this so maybe you will understand what a gift you are getting.  And, also maybe help myself  let him go. 

I taught a Sunday School lesson a few of weeks ago about learning to yield.  I feel I am knee deep in that now.  I am learning to yield my mothering. This little boy is a  young man now.  He don't need me as much.  It is you he will need.  He will leave me and cleave to you.  It's the way it was intended.  He won't call me when the air goes out in his home.  He won't call me when something happens to the car.  He won't call me when the babies come along and are sick.  All of this, I know, is the way God intended for it to be.  But it doesn't change the fact that He gave him to me to prepare for you.  I hope I have done alright.  I have spoiled him as best I could.  And truth be told, it is his father who has taught him how to love the woman he will marry.  He is the one who has really taught him how to treat you well.  And I will say he's done an outstanding job. 

Future daughter in law of mine, I want you to also know that you have been prayed for all his life.  When I was rocking him, I was praying for you.  I knew the day would come and he wouldn't need me.  So I prayed that God would send him a good Christian girl that would love him as much as I did.  A girl that would want to cook for him.  To wash his clothes.  A girl he could tell his secrets to.  A girl that would listen to his heart beat when she hugged him or put her head on his chest. 
I know there's not a wedding date in sight for now.  But there will come a day when you are the only woman in his life.  And by now, you may already be.  Just know this,  my sweet future daughter in law, if you see me just staring at him a little longer than I should, I am remembering back to a time long gone.  I may be in the delivery room, or in his nursery watching him sleep.  I may be on a ball field, a ball court, or even sitting in the sand watching him play in the gulf.  Because in my mind, he's still my little baby boy.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Sunday Reflections

Well Merle, we made it through December!! 
Now the hard part is getting back in to the routine.  Yuck!  I've thought about Elvis' song, "Why can't everyday be like Christmas?", but then again, Christmas day actually wears me out.  Today one will go back to school, which will allow Silas & myself to find our routine again.  

While the future daughter in law & I were shopping, I came across this little journal.  (my theory in Christmas shopping is this...One for me, one for you.  It works quite well.)  Days have gone by.  I've carried this little book all over the house when doing my devotionals or reading.  I had thought I would jot some thoughts down but I would open the pages and there was nothing.  I just kept thinking that the pages are just too cute/pretty to mess up.
 As the end to 2014 drew nearer and my thoughts got a little more centered (it's ok if you want to laugh), it all began to become clear.  My word for 2015 and what I needed this journal for.  Honestly, I can't really put into words how I am going to use this journal other than I'm going to let God guide and write.  I've always had a journal of sorts.  Mainly to just help me focus on my prayer time.  To keep me from getting so distracted.  I'm not good at sitting still.   Anyway, as I scrolled through instagram Saturday a friend of mine had a quote on there. "Why try so hard to fit in when you were called to be set apart."  Now let me back you up to December 31, there was a line in the "Jesus Calling" devotional that said we were set apart for sacred use.   Yesterday D's message was centered around letting our light shine in this new year.  Now look at the quote on this journal....

Get the idea??? I do.  I may be in my own little corner, doing my own little thing. I've been set apart for sacred use. I wasn't made to fit in. Neither were you.  I do have a little light & so do you.   Even if God is the only one to see my little light, I'm gonna do my best to let it shine for Him.  And I have a feeling that in doing that, I will be "Happy".
Happy Monday y'all!