Wednesday, August 26, 2015

August you confirmed it today.... I don't like you

I've debated it since the first day.  I will admit you have given me several important people.  People I love.  And now you add another anniversary to your list too.  But I just gotta tell you, I don't like you.  You have always brought change and we know how I am with change.  I don't like it much.  This year though, this year you have outdone yourself.  
You know, you always signified the end of summer.  You would roll around and we all had to head back to school and work.  Until this year.   While everyone else headed off to work, I was headed in a different direction.  I was sitting on the edge or out in a field chasing butterflies.  I was sitting on the edge because I knew on any given day, the oldest would come in from work for the last time.  He would come in and they would proceed to move his furniture and clothes out.  But while I waited on that day, I busied myself with whatever knowing all the changes were coming.  You see, when he came in to move his stuff that meant that the youngest was one day closer to moving upstairs.  Something he has said for a while he was going to do.  I wasn't even going to attempt that until after the wedding.  With the wedding over and the kids on the honeymoon, last Monday came & I headed upstairs.  By the end of the week, the room upstairs was done and the youngest was there.  That meant the room downstairs was in total disarray.  I worked on it over the weekend and they came yesterday to put the carpet down in there.  To sum up the last week, I've painted a total of four rooms.  Two bedrooms & two bathrooms.  I was making it just fine with all the changes going on around here. 
Until today.
Yesterday D came in to say he thought we would have the driveway blacktopped. Not a big deal.  It needs it.  It's bee several years since it's been done.  Can't park or drive on it for 24 hours after it's done.  I can live with that. 
Morning rolled around today just like any other morning. 
These men pulled up in the driveway to start the preparations for the blacktop.  They were done and it was time for Silas & I to head to the mailbox.  It's a trip we make daily.  But, when I raised the garage door, something was missing.


You may not notice it, but a piece of history is gone.  We have lived here for sixteen years now.  For the majority of those years there's been a basketball goal of some sort in this spot.  It's been a subject of irritation sometimes.  You always had to remember it was there or you would hit it backing out of the garage.  Visitors would always have to be directed around it.  But that's not the reason I was undone.  There's been lots of shots taken on that stupid thing.


At some point, there were competitions to see who could slap the backboard.


There have also been competitions to see who could get "net".  And now???
It's lying on the ground in the back yard.
This last one was a gift from Santa one year.  It wasn't one of those on wheels.  It had a pole that had to have a hole in the ground.
Now, the hole is there but no pole.
Will it go back up once the driveway is done?  I have no idea.  I'm thinking probably not.
So today August, I don't like you.  You have brought one too many changes for me this year. And for just a sliver of a second I'm gonna stomp my foot and say I've had enough.  I'm gonna pout for just a second and then move on.



Monday, August 17, 2015

I sat & stared at the white page on the screen with the flashing cursor for a while before I could type.  Mainly because I don't know where to begin.  We had known this day would come.  He gave her the ring in November 2013.  However, no serious plans were written down until this year.  And since March, it has been a ride.  We all started working on their house in March and it seems it has been day & night since then.  There was a minor surgery thrown in the mix.  A graduation.  A sabbatical from the church.  And just the everyday life of a woman with hormones.  And if the last fact doesn't kill a woman or anyone in her line of fire, then right there's proof enough that God does still work miracles.

Now let me talk to you mama's with boys for a minute. If you haven't already, start praying right now for them & their mate.  Ask God to guide their steps & their life.  And in His time, put them together.  You, mama, get out of the way.  Let God do His work.  And He will.  But in His time.  
Next, start preparing yourself.  One day when the woman that God has for your son comes along, you will wake up & realize your job is done.  He won't need you to wash his clothes or cook for him.  He won't call you to fix his lawn mower, car, or roof.  All he will basically need from you, is to know that you are, as you always have been, praying for him & his bride.  And when your boy(s) is/are what makes up the biggest part of your heart, this hurts.  But let me remind you, they aren't yours to keep.  That's not the way God intended it to be.  He entrusted them to you.  Pray for them & let them go.  They have to spread their wings too just like your husband did.  

 Now let's get down to some more business.. I knew the day was approaching.  Rather quickly in fact.  And as the months grew closer, I felt the nudge & heard that still small voice.  You see, the date was set, along with the back yard of the church as the venue.  There was, however, no plan B in case of rain.  And you know what an August day is here in Tennessee?  HOT!  
The daughter in law, her mother, sister & myself had been to a bridal show in January and I told them the only thing to do would be to ask God to pour out His grace & mercy on the day.  I was going to be specific and ask for a high of 75 with a north wind.  They laughed.  I wasn't kidding.  
Back to the nudge...I knew God was guiding me into a fast I was just hesitant to go.  But the days grew closer & the voice got louder.  I had no doubts what so ever what He was calling me to do.  So, mama, let me tell you this, when God tells you to do something, do it!  In my case, it was to fast & pray for my son & soon to be daughter's wedding day.  And no, I didn't fast from food.  God was direct though in what I was to fast from.  Two weeks ago I knew it was time to get serious.  I pulled the weather app on my phone & waited with faith to see what He was going to do.  Family &  friends would say, it's going to be so hot.  What if it rains?   But I knew no matter what it was going to be the best day.  Not because of me or what God had told me to do, but because of who God is.  Saturday drew closer and the chance of rain crept in like a secret.  I still knew not to worry.  God had it.  Sure enough a little after noon we heard the rumble of thunder.  Wasn't long until we were getting word that it was raining at the church.  I wasn't concerned. 

I hadn't planned on getting on the roller coaster Saturday morning.  I didn't have time for the ride, but I found myself on the front row.  Until I happened to look out the bedroom door.  A cardinal flew onto a limb of our crept myrtle.  And boy did he have that limb flapping.  I knew then, not only had God heard my prayer, He was answering.  That cardinal was a sign that my earthly father was telling me to get off the ride. To hush.  A little funny from my wedding day twenty five years ago.... I'm a stickler for order.  I don't usually fly by the seat of my pants.  I plan things out.  I organize.  But on my wedding day when my daddy got me to the lobby of the church, the preacher, D & best man were already at the alter.  IT WASN'T TIME!!!!  All I could say to my daddy is, "they aren't supposed to be there yet."  His reply was "hush there's nothing you can do about it!"

The rest of the day was perfect.  Yes, it was hot.  Yes it rained at the church.  But God....
He is faithful.  He knows our needs.  He knows our desires.  He hears our prayers. 

When the music began to play at 5:30, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.  The sun was beaming & there was a river running down my back. 

Now to you, my new daughter, you now will share in the role that my oldest has had all his life.  The first.  You will both share in the role of teaching me how to be a mother in law.  You will both teach me how to pray for your family.  And honestly, I'm a little excited about it.  Do you remember the messages we had a few days before the wedding concerning the weather?  Remember the one where I told you I was on it?  I still am.  I know there will be days that I may not pray like I need to, but I do know that God knows the desires of my heart.  My heart's desire is for you & my boy to have many wonderful years together.  There will be days when you don't even want to look at him.  But there will be days when you can't get enough of him.  Be patient with him.  Love him.  Cheer him on.  Laugh with him.  Pray with him & for him.  Daily.

Finally, I can't take any credit for any of the weather Saturday.  I can't take credit for the way these boys have turned out.  I will always believe that the shower Saturday & the brilliant sunshine was from God alone.  He gets all the glory for the way it all turned out.  He just proved to me that what His word says is true.  He used the opportunity to prove to me that nothing is to hard or to big for Him.  He proved to me that if I will just trust Him, His time, His will, it will all be alright.   I've known it.  I've always believed it.  But He never stops teaching me.

As for this first child of mine, he's my gift.  I've said it from the moment I thought I might be pregnant with him.  I will always believe God orchestrated that boys life at a time when I needed him the most.  He was my life.  My world.  And I would have moved heaven & earth for him.  Letting him go was hard.  I won't lie.  But I also knew I couldn't keep him for long anyway.  


The sunset was as beautiful as the day & the bride.
 This may be my favorite.  I love him big!

 But this one?  This one will always have a special place.