Thursday, January 21, 2016

Audaciously digging out of the trenches

It's been two months since I've written a post and even the last one was a struggle.  I've got a lot to say now so just bare with me.  It may be a long one and it may not even be tactful.  So here goes....
Life can sometimes just down right suck.   There I said it.  Yes I am a preachers wife & you just read that right.  If you are offended, well then, move on. 
Is my life that bad?  NO!  No it's not.  However, 2015 was a flippin roller coaster.  It was full of mountain tops & valleys.  It seems once the cart reached the top it crashed at the bottom in a nano second.  There may be some exaggeration in that but not much.
January started out like any other January.  There was a bridal show.  There was cold weather.  February came with some snow and that led us to March where I found a bedroom "redo" and an 18th birthday.   Oh, not to mention a "small" procedure which took someone a good week to recover and then a few weeks after that.   I believe March also brought on time to get going on the fixer upper for the oldest and his bride because a date is now set.  April came and brought a 25th anniversary.  (yay us!)  May blew in bringing one to graduate high school.  Then there was June... June brought about 6 weeks away from church.  A sabbatical if you will.  Along with some bridal showers & another birthday. 21 to be exact.  July came & we were back at church.  August was here before I turned around twice and the oldest moved out & married.  That brought us to September, October, November & December.  Change. Change. Change & Change.  None of which I am good with. 

I let so much steal my joy. My voice.  My attitude.  My gratitude.  I was glad to see 2015 move on.
So here we are.  

I've been reading "Audacious" by Beth Moore.  Let me tell you it is a game changer.  
I knew in December it was time to get over everything & get back to where I needed to be.  To dig out of the trench & move on.  
So here I am.  Moving on.  Now you may be rolling your eyes at this.  You may not even care to read another post.  And that is fine.  But here's the deal.  God has given me a voice.  And it is time I use it.
I encourage you to get this book & read it.  
But let me just share a little bit from it.  Do you remember the time that Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him?  He asked him three times.  Each time Peter said yes.  Jesus knew Peter's heart just like the Father knows ours.   So if He were to ask you right now if you love Him what would your answer be?  Well of course it would be yes.  But do you REALLY???  Because if you dig deep enough in the scripture, to love Him, really love Him, takes on more than what I've been doing.  More than what I've been saying.  
It's time we as so called Christians get off of our high horse & examine ourselves.  This world is so messed up.  And we are letting everyone else speak for us.  Do you understand that a man died for you in order for you to spend eternity with Him?  What are we doing to advance His kingdom?  What are we doing that brings glory to Him?  What am I DOING?  I haven't been doing enough that's for sure. 
So starting now I have to do better.  So do you.  What do you want folks to say about you when you are gone from this world?  What kind of mark will you leave?  I've decided I want folks to know without a doubt that I loved Jesus more than anything.  No one ever had to ask me.  They knew it.  
Here's an example and it may be too much for some but it really happened.  
If you are a woman my age you know that when you hit 40 things change.  I'm smack dab in the middle of this.  Well the time came for me to get a new bra.  No lie.  I've never been a healthy girl in that area and I never complained about it.  But as I said, things change.  I headed out one day to get a new garment.  Walked in the store and told the girl I needed to be fitted because what I had wasn't working any more.  She looked at me & I quote, "You comin' outta that one."  What???? How did she know this?  I still had on ALL my clothes!  But she was right.  Just goes to show she knows her job well.  I walked away from that store thinking to myself, "if she could tell that, then what else could she tell?"  Did she know I'm a Christian?  Did she know that I love Jesus?  And I was so wrapped up & blown away by it all that I didn't even give a second thought to whether she was or not.  I know that's all a bit too much, but do you see where I'm going?  What do people see in me?  If I'm not audacious, if I'm not bold then how will they ever know? They won't!  
Now, if this has bothered you, well like I said, move on.  I welcome you here anytime there's a post and I hope there's a lot more of them.  
Isaiah 43:18-19 has rolled around in my head quite a bit since January 1.  "Forget the former things: do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!" I have no idea what "new thing" God is going to do in me, for me, with me/us in 2016 but I sure am excited about it.  And I sure hope and pray that I can be the audacious woman that He wants me to be.